FAQ's

F R E Q U E N T L Y A S K E D Q U E S T I O N S A S S U M P T I O N S

          Will a coordinator dictate to me what can and cannot be done during the         ceremony?
      NO. He/she should not. Their job is to make your wedding day "yours". While      they may offer suggestions or advice during your initial consultation, the ultimate      decisions are up to you. Their job is not to take the fun out of planning for you
     but rather to carry out your plans.

           Most of the coordinators that I know are "old" and are not open to new ideas.
          While this may be true with some coordinators, it should NOT be. If you are      interested in having a unique wedding ceremony, bending the rules a little, that      is your perogative. Remember, the "ultimate decisions" are up to you. However, if      you are interested in having a more traditional ceremony but are unsure of proper      protocol, a trained professional can help in this area as well. Rely on their
     knowledge and experience to guide you in unfamiliar areas, like the seating of      divorced parents, when music is necessary during the ceremony, unusual wording      of your invitations, etc.

            My parents and I are in disagreement about issues concerning the ceremony.
            This is common. Because of generation gaps, personal tastes or finances, many      times the bride and her parents disagree on certain issues. Disagreements about      wedding plans can even occur between the bride and groom, future mother-in-law      or attendants. When emotions are high, sometimes people are not willing to give      and often times the wedding day is spent with a lot of tension between family and      friends. This should not be. Your wedding day should be the happiest day of your      life and your parents should be just as proud and happy as you are. Having a
     non-related third party person, such as a coordinator to offer professional advice      and ways to compromise could be "just what the doctor ordered."

            Why can't the bride or her mother take care of directing on the wedding day?
             Normally the bride has enough stress to deal with on her wedding day without      having to worry about what everyone else is doing. The mother of the bride is      usually with the bride attending to her needs, greeting guests or taking pictures      and is unavailable to properly monitor the details. Once the processional has begun,      both the groom's and the bride's mother are escorted to their seats before the
    rest of the attendants even begin, so for logistical reasons she cannot be in the      back to take care of things.

            Can I ask a friend or relative to direct my wedding?
            Yes. But only if finances are extremely tight and it is an absolute impossibility
     to hire a professional. Bear in mind, weddings can be very hectic and crazy      sometimes with guests arriving late, nervous attendants forgetting things, lack of      communication with the musicians during the ceremony, children attendants      scared and crying. Having a trained professional there who is equipped to handle      any crisis will certainly make your day a lot less stressful. You want to make sure      that you have someone in charge that is very organized and has the ability to get      people moving in the right direction at the right time without being offensive or      bossy.

I thought it was the priest's or the minister's job to direct the wedding.
Because there is a lack of qualified wedding coordinators in our area, most of the ministers have assumed this role out of necessity. However, because they do not usually have the time before the wedding to sit with the bride and go over the details, they perform very generic ceremonies that they use over and over in their churches. This leaves little room for creativity. Once they direct the rehearsal they expect that you and your wedding party will remember everything at the wedding the next day. Sometimes this happens, most of the time is doesn't. Since the minister is positioned in front of the church prior to the ceremony, he can't very well organize things in the back on the actual wedding day. While some ministers do enjoy directing, most appreciate and are quite impressed with a bride who cares enough about her ceremony to actually hire or appoint someone "to be in charge" so to speak.

Do some churches have wedding coordinators on staff?
Yes, many of them do. This is something that you will need to ask about when you reserve the facility for your wedding. If there is a coordinator on staff, he or she may not appreciate you bringing in an outside coordinator. However, after your consultation with them, if you don't feel that they are truly qualified to do the job, then by all means seek outside help or have a close friend to help out in the back.

             What is the difference between a "Consultant" and a "Coordinator or Director"?
               A consultant is someone who offers advice on other aspects of the wedding,      such as flowers, attire, photography, catering, etc. Like any good advisor, he/she      can save you time, frustration and money. Many consultants even offer to actually      book merchants and service providers for you. If you are limited in time or money,      this is a service you may want to look into.
            A coordinator is basically responsible for directing the rehearsal and      ceremony and making sure your wishes are carried out. Some brides are now asking      coordinators to also attend the reception to assist with photos and cake cutting,      and to organize the music and dances, etc.